can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
