i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize