I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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