I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Randomize
