Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
they call him Oral-B. enough said
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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