youre lurking in front of me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
