Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
