she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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