Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.

Fav 72 6820 985
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

Fav 12 5019 1047
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(636): View more from Missouri

So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

Fav 73 9585 1735
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

Fav 18 7107 1255
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(205): View more from Alabama

I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

Fav 74 2721 9388
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(260): View more from Indiana

I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me

Fav 6 1080 3168
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

Fav 6 2550 1023
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later

Fav 0 151 81
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(203): View more from Connecticut

its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful

Fav 0 8 18
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