Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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