Acid is not a monday night drug
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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