Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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