Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
