i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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