I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
