I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
