i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
