kristin has been a bad kristin
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't put those talents on a resume
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
