also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
