I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
