I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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