Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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