I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
