:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
