is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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