Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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