he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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