this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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