Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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