Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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