How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
