Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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