GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize