So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
