Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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