I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
