i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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