so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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