so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
