it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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