At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
