What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize