I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
