im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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