Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
