it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
