last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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