do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize