just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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