I hope mine doesn't look like that
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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