Define "chronic" masturbator.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
