just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
