Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
