I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
