the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
