Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Of course I have a pirate flag
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
