ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
