the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize