Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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