the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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