so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
