dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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