I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
