My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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