You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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