remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
